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Therapist: So, Cari, why do you express yourself like that in your stories. So…detached, third person…

Me: Because it hurts less…

T.: I understand…please go on, you were telling me about the evening when you met your first love…

“The painting was almost done. She wanted to paint the perfect sunset and now with all those clouds…”My bad luck! Like it wasn’t enough that I had to tell a lie in order to get away from home…Like being 17 means I’m a child! Yeah, right! But that’s what they are telling me on and on…and they complain about me being irresponsible! I just wanted to finish the painting, cause tomorrow is Padre Francesco’s birthday…my parents wouldn’t understand it…not in a million years!”

He stared at her. It was maybe the dress she was wearing, that long white dress, or the blonde hair, or the angry expression on her face, but somehow, he felt the need to go there and talk to her. To take her in his arms and carry her back to the shore. The sea was agitated this evening and when the rain started he could swear that…yes, he was sure by now…there were tears in her eyes…

-Let me help you…it’s raining and the storm will start soon…I don’t think is safe to be here, on this bridge…

-You’re taking the light away…I still need to add a touch of blue to the…

-There’s no time, can’t you hear the thunders? Here…give me your hand, be careful…noooo…

It was too late, already too late. He grabbed her hand just in time to keep her from falling in the water…but the painting was gone…And now she was trembling in his arms, with a devastated expression in her eyes, ready to jump in the water…

She knew is too late for the painting and she tried so hard to stop the tears…”Don’t be such a child! Is just a painting! Just?! No, I put my soul in it…Those were the colors of my heart…” The rain was mixing with the tears making her feeling helpless…”He’s holding me so close, could it be that he feels my heart beats? I must look like a fool, crying in the rain in his arms. And wanting…no…I’m crazy! No!”

She slightly parted her lips and he knew…He leaned down and held her face into his hands…touching her lips with his. He just wanted to kiss her lightly but there was something beyond his control. She was still trembling when he opened her lips to kiss her hungrily, passionately, making love with her mouth. She didn’t tried to stop him, how could she, when all the warmth of the sun was concentrating in her body, making her tremble with desire. Her first kiss…she felt like falling in her oldest dreams with princes and heroes…Her eyes were still closed when he slowly let her go…

-What’s your name, Principessa? I’m Alessio…

-Cari…I mean, Carissa.

-Cari, I have to see you again. Tomorrow, same hour?

-I’ll be here…but I don’t know the hour…I left my watch home…

-The Hour when Angels comes down to Earth…and i was lucky enough to kiss an angel…Is 19:19. Will you remember? Amore mio…

-Forever…”

Therapist: Your first kiss…How old were you?

Me: 17, five years ago. And…

T.: Yes…do you wanna add something? Cari, i think you got a message on your cellphone, you can check it…it can be important.

Me: There’s no need to check…is 19:19, right? 

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