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Therapist: And you went to your date, the next day. The big day…your first date?

Me: Yes…imagine how hard it was to find the perfect dress, to arrange my hair…after a whole sleepless night, painting his portrait…

T.: There’s something i can’t understand…Your parents, where were they? I mean, any responsible parent with a teenager daughter would notice when she’s dressing for a date…

Me: Not my parents! I’ll explain…my father and my brothers were very occupied with our business and my mother just went that day to a shopping session in Paris…yes, my mom, the ex-model…

T.: I see…please, go on…

“She tried so hard to hide her emotions but the butterflies in her stomach were stronger than her will. Her hands were trembling and her voice sounded insecure and she was aware of that redness spreading all over her cheeks. And the moment when she saw him, her heart was beating so fast…

He saw her and almost ran to take her in his arms. She looked different than the other evening and her sexy red dress was contrasting with that shy innocent look in her eyes. A puzzle that he needed to solve. But holding her tight, all those thoughts were replaced with something much sweeter. The smell of her hair, her perfume and her heart beating so fast…

-Cari…you’re trembling. I missed you so much and the night seemed endless. Baby, your heart beats like you were a scared little bunny…

-I can’t control them…my butterflies…

-Well, i’m sure there’s something i can do about them…

And he kissed her deeply and passionate making those butterflies to fly trough her body, creating the warmth inside her. She felt so overwhelmed that all she could do was surrender to this desire. She knew deep inside how much he loves that…

-We better stop…seems like controlling myself around you is pointless…Hey, what do we have here? A painting…the perfect sunset?

-The perfect man…

He saw the portrait and his first thought was that it can’t be…So detailed, so full of passion and love.

-Cari, this is…is amazing! I never…thank you, thank you so much amore mio…But how…? No, don’t say anything. Better answer me: do you believe in love at first sight?

She was searching for a perfect answer. To not sound too desperate, but still to let a place for…

-I didn’t believed till i met you, Alessio…mio Alessio…But now i’m thinking that true love must be at first sight…like when we kissed…without knowing anything about each other…and i felt in love with you for no other reason than you…

He was impressed. The question was only meant to start the flirting, he used it with so many woman before and usually they had an answer more or less funny…but there was something so deep and pure in her answer. He felt the need to know more.

-Cari, i felt in love too…but now i need to know everything about the sweet girl who melt my heart…

She looked down visibly tormented.

-Hey…it can’t be that awful! Look, let me be the one starting: i’m 27 years old and i’m from Florence but i’m planning to start a business here, in your home town. How does it sound? You can run scared now…Alright…your turn…

-Alessio, before i’ll say anything…i just need you to hold me again…one more time…

Without a single word he took her in his arms. For some reason, she looked sad, like this meant good bye. She ran her fingers trough his curled hair and her eyes were closing when he kissed her again. The sweetness of her lips combined with the way she just opened herself to him made him hungry for more. His hands moved along her body, creating goose bumps on her neck. He pulled her closer, but he felt the need to take things much slower this time. She understood…he needed some answers…

-I know i’m going to lose you…because i’m 17 and i’m still in high school and you’ll think we’re not good for each other…I’m sorry, Alessio…i love you but you can run scared, i wont blame you..

The shock was obvious on his face. He turned his back…yes, he imagined she’s young, 18, maybe 19…but an underage girl? He felt angry at her, at himself…He needed to find a way out quickly and he was searching for the perfect words when he saw her tears…and something just snapped inside him.

-Cari…what are we going to do now? Is too late for me to run scared…and i suppose you feel the same…Promise me something, my love…

-Anything…i’ll do anything, just don’t leave me…

-That’s exactly what i’m afraid of…Cari, i need you to promise me that you wont let me push things too far…you wont ever do what you’re not ready to do…

-What do you mean? Alessio, i trust you…

-When i kissed you yesterday on the bridge…for you was the first kiss…am i right?

She nodded looking down like a child who just got caught. She felt she’s blushing and she hated being so emotional.

-Oh, Cari…don’t look down…My love, i’m overwhelmed and i feel happy and in love with you and i wanna be sure i wont do anything to hurt you. Now, the big question: do you wanna be my girlfriend?

-Yes! Of course i will…i love you, Alessio! You’re not leaving me…

-How could i leave you, silly? I love you like i never ever loved before…”

Therapist: How often did you two met since that day?

Me: Every day, at the same hour…our hour…till september when my parents found out about us…It was the happier month of my life…

T.: Cari…did you ever talked to Ryan about Alessio? Ryan knows how you feel, how you still feels? Especially now that Alessio returned in your life…

Me: Alessio and I…no, we will never be a couple again, so why should i bother Ryan with this? Anyway…maybe he doesn’t even wanna know… 

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