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Therapist: Your parents found out about your relationship…what was your father’s reaction?

Me: It was one of the most humiliating moments in my entire life. He used some harsh words and they immediately decided to send me to that boarding school in Rome…

T.: So you ran away…

Me: Yes, i jumped from the first floor, hurting my leg and i ran straight to Alessio’s apartment…

“She was biting her bottom lip trying to lay still and quiet. The pain in her upper leg was strong, making her tremble. She knew that the wound must be cleaned and she was graceful for his effort.

-We’re almost over…you are the bravest girl ever! I’m sorry for taking so long to clean it, but it was full of dirt…you felt on soft grass, right? Otherwise, your leg would be broken…

She almost smiled. He was upset with her, she knew it, but she loved the way he was taking care of her. So careful not to hurt her…she felt so much love in the way he moved his fingers in order to caress her bruised skin.

-OK, tell me once again…everything…

-I told you…my dad knows…he knows everything about us! He called me “a whore”, he said i’m the disgrace of his family and he doesn’t wanna see me again…Alessio, we’re wasting time…i ran away because they’re sending me tomorrow morning to the boarding school…I have a few clothes with me…

He was overwhelmed…he never expected for things to turn out this way. It supposed to be a sweet romance…something that ends with the summer. And yes…things were a little more serious than he initially planned…he really meant it when he talked about love. But running away with her…

-Cari…this is crazy! Do you really expect me to run away with you? For God’s sake! You’re 17…i could get arrested…you still have two years of high school ahead of you…And i just started a business here…there’s money invested…a lot of money…Look, i’ll call your father and explain it to him…

She burst into tears and he realized how scared and hurt she was. He took her in his arms, caressing her ravished hair, trying to calm her down. It took her a while till she could spoke.

-Amore mio…Alessio, i know i’m asking you a lot…but listen to me…you can start a business anywhere in Italy…you’re brilliant. And i wont be a burden…i’ll work with you…for you…And we don’t have to get married if you don’t want to…i’ll stay with you, i’ll learn to cook and clean and…And i’ll make you happy…Just take me away from here…please…

He felt mad at himself. This adventure had gotten too far and now he was facing a disaster in process. He grabbed her by her shoulders, holding her firm, making her look in his eyes.

-Look…is late and you’re tired. I’ll take you home and we’ll talk tomorrow morning…

She looked down with a vulnerability that always impressed him.

-Tomorrow morning i wont be here anymore…i know you loves me and i love you too…I’m scared, Alessio…my parents wont take me back home till Christmas…maybe not even then. And we wont be able to see each other…Our relationship…

-What relationship? Carissa…we don’t really have a relationship, do we? You are sweet and beautiful and any guy would be attracted of you…but marriage? At your age? You don’t know me…you don’t even know yourself…You’re always running scared…and you wanna be on your own? Yes…i love you, but i wont be a part of this crazy plan of destroying both of our lives!

Her tears were replace by a cold anger. She whipped them away and when she was able to talk, she looked deep in his eyes.

-You said we’re going to get married when i’ll turn 18! You said i’m safe by your side! You promised me love and protection! Now i need love and protection! Not the words…the facts! Prove me you’re brave enough to help me and i’ll sleep with you. What do you say? Is it fair enough? Or maybe you’re not even brave enough to look into my eyes now…

She was right, because he avoided to look at her.  He avoided to speak. He felt like he would cry if he’ll try to say anything. To her…his silence was the only answer.

She rushed outside feeling lost. He was her only hope…The pain in her leg was nothing compared with the anguish she felt in her heart. She just stood outside, not able to move, not able to cry.

He saw her leaving and he felt empty. He tried to rationalize, to feel relieved but it felt like his heart stopped beating in the moment he lost her.

Suddenly he was there in front of her. His strong arms around her, pulling her closer, holding her tight, pressing her on his body. Kissing her like it were for the last time. When he stopped, hot salty tears were running down on her cheeks. And on his face. Crying together in the dark.

-Do you understand it now? Cari…do you feel it now? Nothing…absolutely nothing will stop me from being with you, from marrying you. Please…give me a few months…till you’ll turn the legal age. I’ll sell my business and we’ll move away from here…maybe in another country…I’ll do anything to be with you. Just…

She nodded and she kissed him once again. She was happy…in the middle of the darkness…she was dreaming again. in the middle of the nightmare…”.

Therapist: But you went to the boarding school…

Me: Yes, knowing he’ll prepare everything for our marriage. I was naive…

T.: You were desperate and you didn’t had any other support…Trying to run away from home was out of desperation…

Me: Running away is never the answer! I know this now…

T.: Now…five years later…he’s the one asking you to be brave…

Me: No. He’s the one asking me to sacrifice everything for him. Again…

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