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Therapist: …realizing you’re more than a helpless child. For that you needed to gain some form of control over your own life…

Me: I remember the first time when i felt like i’m really taking my destiny in my own hands. It felt amazing…

T.: When was that?

Me: A month after the school begun, i had to held a speech in front of the students, teachers and a special guest from over the ocean. They chose me because i was an American girl raised and educated in a traditional Sicilian family…

“Her hands were trembling as she stood in front of all these people. She knew the speech by heart, it was about faith, morality and how Catholic School helps youngsters to develop a set of moral values. They were all waiting for her to begin when something happen…

-I’m honored to present myself in front of you, talking about morality and faith in our School, from a student perspective. My speech, if i might say so, is very well written and maybe i’ll be blamed for my decision, but today…I wanna talk from my heart and soul, hoping to touch every one in this room. Please give me the opportunity to do it…

 Before anything else, let me remind you of our most precious gift we had been offered by His sacrifice: our freedom…Christianity is much more than a set of rules, or a continue rush to be relief from our sins, real or imaginary, Christianity is all about Love and Freedom. Because we can talk about Love without feeling free and we cannot be truly free in the absence of Love.

A few weeks ago, someone decided i am a sinner, someone decided i cannot be free anymore and they took away my right to be free. My freedom to chose. My Free Will. They locked me away from the reality, in a beautiful and sacred place, asking me to understand and to learn to love God, to be obedient and patient with people who were never patient with me…

Now i’m asking you…How can i love God if i don’t have the chance to know His most precious creation: this world and people within?

How can I learn about tolerance and obedience if i don’t have the chance to make my own mistakes and learn from them? Are we all perfect? Or are we all just frightened?

How can I develop a set of moral rules…if my decisions are imposed by outside? How can I grow to be wise and kind when i’m treated like a spoiled child…

I’m asking with all the respect: is this God’s Will? Think long and hard…we’re all sinners…maybe I am more a sinner than others but if i wanna change into a better person…do I really have the chance to do it? Maybe in theory…

We’re here to follow Christ’s example…well, He made His own choices! He decided to give me, with His Sacrifice, my right to chose good from evil, love from hate…How could somebody…anybody…take that away from me? Or from you…

Thank you.

Her eyes were sparkling and she was blushed all over her face. The last few words were said with tears in her eyes but she felt relief. She really meant it…Now, she knew they probably think she went crazy, they’ll call her parents and all the madness will start all over again…

Someone stood up and started to applause her. It was Daniele. Next to him was Anna, Giovani, Chiara, Pietro…her friends standing brave to support her. Other students started to applause too. Then a professor…And right before her teared eyes a miracle took place…She was standing before an audience that seemed to really have heard her…

In the back of the Conference Room, someone was amazed. She saw him and she almost ran to him. He looked at her like it were the first time he saw her. And she looked at him like a helpless child turned into a woman.

A powerful woman. His woman.

-Alessio, amore mio…”

Therapist: I’m speechless…just one question: Where is that powerful woman Now? Do you feel this way with Ryan?

Me: These are two questions (smiling). See…i wanted to stop being so strong…i thought Ryan will be my strength. And now…now i just wanna turn back time and be 17 once again…

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