Tags

, , , ,

Therapist: Your decision to give him another chance was based on love? Are you sure about that?

Me: Maybe it was more about loneliness or fear of failure…but at that time, that was the only love i knew.

T.: When a child receive almost nothing from his parents…he’ll grow up convinced that he deserve nothing…

Me: And when, after almost 18 years someone seems to care…that child truly believes that he’s living the greatest love on Earth…

“It was almost 6 in the morning and outside it was still darkness. The bed was soft and warmth and she was smiling in her dream. The past day seemed forgotten, the harsh words, the sorrow…

He got closer careful not to wake her up too suddenly. The thought of her leaving…he couldn’t believe how much pain he’ll feel just imagining the possibility of living without her.

-Cari…it’s almost 6…the school…tesoro, open your beautiful eyes…

-Amore mio…i just had the most beautiful dream ever…Oh, Alessio, it’s Monday…! I’ll be late! My uniform…

He couldn’t stop laughing seeing her so agitated and he took her in his arms, carrying her to the window and kissing her sleepy eyes.

The stars are fading away in front of you…i can’t believe how beautiful you look at 6 in the morning…like a sweet sleepy angel…i love you so much…

She smiled and kissed him on the cheek.

-Take me to school! I’m ready for another month of prison!

-Well…not so fast! I made you pancakes…here…with honey and a glass of warm milk…

He brought the food to the bed.

-Alessio…you did this for me…amore mio, you woke up so early to prepare me breakfast and it’s so tasty…you’re the most amazing, sweet, loving and perfect boyfriend…

He kissed her sticky fingers looking at her with so much love. She had a drop of honey on the corner of her mouth and he puled her closer and tasted…

-Mmmm…i knew you’re sweet but now that i tried the honey from your lips, i think i became an addict…You know, my sweet…i wanna do that every morning…

She looked panicked at the clock. He helped her get dressed and they went together to the car. The road was long and he put an CD with romantic music.

-Amore…are you sure we’re going in the right direction? I think we got lost…Alessio…look, we’re getting out of town…

She wasn’t sure what to believe, but he seemed so calm and relaxed and she didn’t wanted to make him feel bad. It was obvious to her that they weren’t going to school and she felt her heart jumping in her chest, but she said nothing and smiled back at him.

The car stopped and he helped her get out. In front of her it was the most amazing place she ever saw.

-Amore…this must be the Paradise…What is this place? It looks like forever summer…like forever happiness…

-Like forever love…like you and me…Carissa, this is my favorite place and i wanted to look at the sunrise with you…here…It’s called Tivoli’s Villa d’Este and it’s a blessed place on Earth…every time i’m here i feel like there’s hope…even when everything seems broke…or lost…Cari…

-I feel…oh, Alessio…i just feel like something divine is healing me…like i’m whole again…

-It’s called Love…I love you…and there’s no better place…no better time than now…I don’t know how to make you trust me again…i can’t promise you that it will be perfect all the time, but…i can promise you that i’ll love you. More and more with every day…

He gave her something. The white teddy bear she always dreamed to hold during her lonely nights. And there was something else…

-Is this…

-Yes…My friend here is helping me…because i was afraid i wont find the right words…And i know you wont get mad at him, because he’s so fluffy and white…Please say you’ll accept the ring…Please…Carissa, say you’ll make me the happiest man on earth…

-YES…I love you, Alessio…amore…do you really mean it? You’re not playing with me…you really want me to…

-To became my wife…to wear this ring and to let everybody know that we’re engaged…And in 5 months…on 29 April 2009…

-My birthday…i’ll be 18…

-Our Wedding Day…you’ll finally be my wife…”

Therapist: And you just said yes…forgetting and forgiving and ignoring everything…

Me: Ignoring yes…I finally felt that my life has a meaning…

Therapist: You defined yourself by the role he gave you in his life…When he was treating you like you are nothing, you felt you’re nothing…and when he said all those romantic things you started to like yourself…That’s…

Me: That’s dangerous…i know, because so many times losing him meant losing myself.

T.: What about now? The white teddy bear still exists in your life?

Me: In my life and in my bed…occupying the place where Ryan should be. But he’s not keeping me warm anymore. Without his loving arms around me…

Advertisements