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Therapist: So, why did you go to the Moretti’s home? Knowing how your “fiance” feels about them?

Me: Because i liked them! They seemed nice and i didn’t wanted to miss the opportunity to know them better.

T.: Acting like a true rebel…

Me: Maybe…but for me that’s normal. And this visit happened to change my life…

“She was starring at the book in her hands trying to read, but her mind was somewhere else. The living room was absolutely splendid, big paintings on the walls and St. Anthony’s statue…it made her feel like she was in a museum. A Castle, like Alessio said…

Oh, Alessio…if he could see her now, he would realize how wrong he was. They were so nice to her, the dinner was impressive and the conversation went so smooth, almost like they were friends since…forever. The only bitter-sweet moment was when Mario asked her about College. She wanted so much to tell them about her dreams, but she knew is pointless. She promised Alessio that she wont go to Medical School…Luckily, Mario saved the moment mentioning about Sociology and promising her a job at one of his companies.

Now she was all alone in the house. That phone call…telling them that something happened at the production line…and they just had to run, excusing themselves in front of her. But i didn’t matter, she’ll just stay and wait for them to return.

Lost in her thoughts, she didn’t heard the steps behind her and when he put a hand on her left shoulder, she almost jumped startled.

-You must be Carissa…i heard so much about you. I forgot about your visit, other wise i would have joined you at dinner. I’m Matteo, Luisa’s son. Nice to meet you.

She wanted to say something but she felt lost. Overwhelming emotions without a reason. She thought for a moment how ridiculous she must be starring at him without a word.

-N…nice to meet you too, Matteo. I’m…i mean, i didn’t knew you’re gonna be home and i was bored so i took the book. I…gotta put it back to…

Feeling more ridiculous than ever before, her cheeks were in flames and, without wanting, she drop the book. Leaning down to grab it, her fingers touched Matteo’s hand. Now she knew she’s blushing…

-Carissa, that’s the sweetest thing i ever saw! You know you’re as red as an apple? Can i ask you, sweetie, how old are you?

-I’m 17…no, i’m almost 18. And please don’t call me sweetie, i’m very bothered by this familiarity…

He started to laugh, giving her the book.

-But you’re sweet like a vanilla flavored candy! So, how do you want me to call you?

-Cari…

-Well, Carissa, sweetie, i guess Luisa lost her mind! You’re probaby unaware, but she’s doing this from time to time. Trying to hook me up with some decent girl. Honestly, i don’t know where she finds them! But you, honey, a 17 years old teenager…no, she surely lost her minds…

 She finally felt able to control herself and, more than that, she felt so angry. Her pride woke up inside her.

-Please tell your parents how much i appreciate their invitation. I wont bother you anymore, have a good night!

He took her hand stopping her to leave.

-I’m sorry, very sorry! You got every right to feel upset, i’m a terrible host. Another chance…for Luisa. What do you say? Look, why don’t you join me to a glass of wine…

-Let me think about! You were impolite, arrogant and self sufficient. Now you wanna see me drunk…hmmm…why would i join you?

-Because you’re (according to Luisa) sweet, carrying and honest! Because i never saw a blonde Sicilian girl and i bet there’s more to your story! Because i’ll make you a nice cup of tea…Carissa, i know i can be a pain in the ass, but i would be miserable if you’ll leave now…

She smiled feeling like she won a battle.

-And we don’t wanna see you miserable, do we? So, you think your parents did this on purpose?

-I’m pretty sure…

-Matteo, gotta tell you…you’re absolutely safe with me! Well…as long as you wont call me sweetie or honey…See this ring? I’m in love with the most handsome, intelligent and charming guy on Earth…And even if i would be free, you still couldn’t stand a chance in front of me…

-Is this a challenge? The blushed girl is challenging me? Swee…no, Carissa…sweetie, you were playing in the sand when i seduced my first woman…

They were both laughing and she realized how easy it feels to be around him.

-First: i never played in the sand! I was building castles and that’s pretty different! Second: you’re only 7 years older than me! In another words, a kid! Third: i don’t think you know how to make me that tea…not to mention seducing me…

-My turn! First: I’ll make you the best tea you had ever drank! Second: I’m only interested on your friendship. Lucky you! Third: What have you done with that shy blushing girl? I kinda liked her…but i love the spicy woman in front of me! Come on, Carissa…let’s give Luisa a subject of thinking…we’re gonna have tea together…mmmm…almost like a marriage…

-OK, kiddo! Let’s do it…”

Therapist: I can’t believe it! You were flirting with him…

Me: I didn’t realized that i was flirting. I think i was playing…

T.: Question: If you knew back then that, at some point you and Matteo will plan your wedding, what would you do?

Me: Running away…absolutely! He was amazing as my friend and terrible as my partner…Everything we had…the familiarity, the laughs, the flirting…we lost everything in the moment when we tried to be more than friends. 

T.: My humble opinion is that your relationship with Matteo was pretty shallow…knowing him better, at a deeper level made you feel like you lost the friend. In fact, you lost nothing…

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