Tags

, , , , , , , , ,

Therapist: Why are you saying this? The night you were spending with Matteo wasn’t that dramatic…and you’re saying that it changed your destiny…

Me: It’s not about what happened! Nothing happened, indeed…It’s all about what i felt.

T.: And what was it?

Me: I started to care for him. In a strange way, he woke up the woman in me…in a way that Alessio never could…

“-Sweetie, i can’t believe it’s 5 in the morning! The time just flies with you…and i still have so many questions…

-You’re very curious, aren’t you? But i wanna know about you! You don’t have a girlfriend…how come?

He took her hands looking deep in her eyes, with an expression that made her laugh.

-Cause i’v been waiting for you all of my life…

-Oh, no…poor baby! But you’re not getting out of this so easily! Tell me!

He looked a little sad and she wondered if it wouldn’t be better to just drop the subject. After a few seconds, he talked, without a trace of joke in his voice.

-Alright, Carissa…i’ll tell you. I tried a few times and i made them so miserable and unhappy…What can i say, i’m just not the “cuddling type”, i only hug a girl in the idea of having sex with her…And i’m not the “romantic type”, i wont give flowers or teddy bears, i rather buy a pretty dress or a nice pair of earrings. In all my relationships i establish some ground rules and i’m expecting for those rules to be followed…

-My God, Matti…you can’t be serious! Rules? Like in a business? A contract?

-A contract is something very efficient. I give something and i’m expecting to get something in return. All the people do that, without even knowing it…

She was listening very careful thinking if Alessio ever thought this way about her. Feeling suddenly nervous…

-Matti, can i ask you something?

-Stop calling me Matti…and stop playing with your hair, you kinda makes me wanna do more than talking…Just kidding! Relax, sweetie…decent girls like yourself are a bit boring…Sorry, what did you wanted to ask?

She realized it’s not a good idea to get into the subject.

-No…i changed my mind…

She looked down trying hard to change the subject. He got closer to her, putting both of his hands on her shoulders.

-Look at me, Carissa. You heaven’t changed your mind…it was something i said that made you so hesitatingly. Now i wanna hear the question.

-Well…it’s not about me…i have a friend and i was curios how you think about her. I mean…how you think about waiting till the wedding…you know what i’m talking about?

-Sweetie, that’s bullshit! Exactly what i said! Your friend is practicing a form of prostitution, selling her virginity for a marriage contract…Or for a diamond ring…

She almost chocked with the espresso she was having and he started to laugh seeing her so blushed. But she wasn’t feeling good…

-Carissa…come on, honey, you’re way to young to have these kind of conversations. Don’t let me shock you this way! Now tell me about you…if i were considering to sign a contract with you, what would you ask?

-That’s simple! Your parents! And a dog, i never had one…

-Awww…you’re so cute…Carissa, i gotta say it…i’m impressed! In a minute you’re flirting with me, in the next minute you got this innocent look in your eyes, like a sweet child who’s asking for a puppy…OK, you can have my parents and i’ll buy you a puppy…how about a diamond ring? Would you renounce to the fake you’re wearing now for a real diamond ring?

She smiled remembering Padre Antonio’s words: “Some people are covering themselves in diamonds, trying to hide their hearts. Because their hearts are not shining bright enough…Your heart in the Real Diamond, Carissa, just let it shine, because there’s no wall thick enough to cover his grace…”.

-You know something, Matteo…i just realized…my ring is the most precious thing i ever had…much more precious to me than ten diamonds. And a contract cannot replace true love…so, i guess there’s no puppy for me…

He smiled and opened his arms, pulling her closer and holding her tight.

-Come here, you…sweet child! You and your real love…i really don’t have a chance with you…You’re absolutely charming and completely immune to my cynicism. I want you to tell something to that prince of yours…Tell him that he has a real diamond and i envy him with all my heart! And tell him that if he doesn’t treat you right, i’ll break his legs!

She smiled happily like never before, feeling his warm embrace. Being in his arms was so natural and she felt free…She spoke on a playful tone, looking in his eyes…

-Matti…you know we’re breaking the “hugging rule”?

-Phewww! You, dangerous little devil! Look what you have done with me! I’m soft and sentimental like a puppy! Let me kiss those blushed cheeks of yours. Like that…much better!

And she felt amazingly good, much better than ever before.”

Therapist: All the talking about contracts, rules, former relationships…weren’t warning signs for you? Like he’s trying to send you a message…

Me: I liked him…maybe more than i was willing to admit. So i ignored…

T.: What were you seeing when you looked into his eyes?

Me: Something beautiful…light, love…so much love to give, tenderness…

T.: Cari, he was a dominant man, self centered, cynical, thinking about love in terms of contracts, rules and offers. When you looked into his eyes, you didn’t saw him…You only saw yourself… 

Advertisements