Tags

, , , , , , , , , ,

Me: I think that, at some point, i stopped being honest…i just told you what i thought you wanted to hear…

Dave: You know, Cari…in a way, i guess i knew it all the time…there are so many things i wish i had done differently…i looked over our latest meetings, i missed important moments in therapy. It’s important for me to tell you: it wasn’t your fault…it was never your fault! My personal involvement along with my professional misguided ego…

Me: Stop it, Dave! Don’t talk about yourself this way…Look, you were there for me when no one was. And you helped me. But you told me…remember? You told me that therapy is like a dance…one step for, two steps back. Sometimes one of the partners stumbles…

Dave: I made you feel like you were stumbling…when i was the one falling…and i blame myself for this…

Me: Falling? Falling down? Never, Dave…You’re my source of inspiration, my strongest connection to reality. No one really felt down…not me, not you…The only thing that didn’t worked was our therapeutic relationship…

“She woke up because of their voices. Her swollen eyes had traces of tears…she felt asleep crying. Pain…she almost believed that pain is forever forgotten. Bruises…she wish she could erase them…The voice sounded louder:

-What do you mean? I can and i will see my daughter! What have you done to her? Nothing? So all this blood here…and the broken glasses is nothing! Alright, i’m calling the Police…

She opened the door carefully. The house was in the same mess…she felt like vomiting when she saw the blood. There was Alessio, looking more frightened than ever. She could almost feel his fear. Police, jail…Suddenly she realized. And she ran into her father’s arms.

-Dad! You’re here…i can’t believe it! I missed you so much..

He reacted more cold than she was expecting.

-Carissa…what in the hell happened here? You look horrible! Who did this to you? He did? Start talking or i’ll call the Police.

She wanted, for a brief moment, to burst into tears and to confess him everything. How he pushed her, how afraid she felt, how he drugged her that night…But he saw Alessio’s eyes…pleading, begging…Like a scared little boy…like that boy she always wanted to protect…She faked a smile.

-Oh, dad…No one did this to me…You know how i’m stumbling all the time…i felt…We were celebrating…a…a…something…and i had a glass of wine…i felt and i broke something and…you can see the results. I’ll clean…in a moment…But tell me, why are you here? I’m so happy to see you. Can i hug you one more time? Dad…

He ignored her. Instead, he pushed Alessio against the wall. He was all white, almost trembling.

-So you’re letting her drink wine? My daughter getting drunk…just when i thought you can’t sink lower…Carissa…

-I’m…terrible…so..sorry…Signore Provenzano. She insisted and you know your daughter…

Suddenly her father’s tone melted.

-Alright…you’re a good guy, Alessio…of course i know Carissa…her mother and i spoiled her too much…Well, i hope she’ll get to her senses with you…she needs someone with authority. OK, kids…i’ll call someone to clean this house…Now, let’s discuss some businesses, shall we?

She nodded feeling weird…businesses…her father…Alessio’s attitude. But she was determined to do what it takes to re-build her relationship with her father.

-Yes, dad…

-I’m here cause i realize i was wrong…I’m a man of honor! Alessio…i was wrong and i’m not afraid to admit…here’s a check…the money you need for the business i ruined in Palermo…What can i say? I had a duty…to your parents…here…i’m doing the right thing. It’s never too late to restore a good business contract…and i know your father will appreciate.

Alessio’s excitement and joy was visible. He tried to shake Franco’s hand but Franco pretended he didn’t saw the gesture. He continued very calm.

-As for you, Carissa…if you agree to a few terms…i may let you use the house you stole… no, you convinced my poor mother to let you. Till then…here’s a check for you…with money for…whatever…i strongly suggest you to not waste them…i may not be that generous…again…

She looked stunned at her father. He must had lost his minds…or maybe he’s suffering from a terminal illness…

-Dad…you’re very generous…but why are you doing this?

-Can’t a father just spoil a little his little girl? And his future son-in-law? See, Carissa…you always thought the worse of me…Of course…there’s something you could do…to show me your appreciation. You know…a favor should never remain one sided…

-Sure, dad, just tell me…

-That’s my little girl…i knew i can count on you. You know, Carissa…i’m going to send your mother to Paris again…for three weeks. And i want you to go with her. I already know she’s cheating on me, but i don’t have any prove. So, you’ll go there…i need recordings…pictures or even filmed materials. That bitch will get nothing from our divorce. So…i need you to help me…become her best friend…you know how to talk to her, don’t you? But more important are the evidences. And your testimony on the trial…So, Carissa…Are you going to help The Family? Your Family? Is in your best interest to accept it…

Her cheeks were in flames. She looked at Alessio, searching for some support. He was looking down…She took the piece of paper from Alessio’s hands and, along with her’s, she tore them in little pieces…

-Look, dad…what i’m doing with Your trash!

-Carissa…you’ll regret…

-Really? Will I? Go on…do whatever it takes. I’m no snake, dad! You raised me to never betray my family! I’ll never spy my own mother! Never! You can offer me anything, you can do anything to me! I wont be a snake! But you are…ohhhh…you are! Get out of my…Alessio, help me…i want him out of here…I can’t stand to look at him!

She was hoping…But all he did was to look devastated at the pieces of paper on the floor.

-Cari, baby…why don’t you give your father a chance to explain? After all, he didn’t asked you anything so…out of ordinary…why do you make such a big case of it? Signore Provenzano…please excuse her…she’s nervous…

Her father looked at Alessio like he were watching an insect…She regained her self control. Her dignity and her self-respect.

-Well, it was fun! I’ll let you two alone to “discuss” more businesses. It’s over…with both of you. Dad…you ashamed The Family you’re so proud of…I’m ashamed with you! Alessio…don’t worry about what happened between us…it will stay between us…You wouldn’t resist a single day in jail…By the way…dad…we’re not in the same Family anymore…Be careful…one day i may get tired of protecting you and, oh boy, you got your share of enemies…don’t you?”

Me: I never meant…never really meant what i said. It was one of the moments i regret…Even then…in spite of all my anger and pain…i cried for hours. For days…

Dave: Cari, i feel like you’re still crying deep inside your heart. And it’s not fair…they were the ones hurting you…I feel you…your anger, your pain…i wish i could hug you…for all those hugs you never had…

Me: Please do that, Dave…I’m trying to forgive the unforgivable…Hold me tight and help me forgive myself…

Advertisements