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Me: I wrote him a letter and then i burned it…what’s the point, Dave? He felt in love with a girl i can’t remember. He wants that girl back into his life. I want her back too…

Dave: Why do you want her back? I remember she used to cry a lot…and you told me she was helpless and dependent…

Me: She knew how to love. I know how to care, how to show that i care. I forgot how to love.

Dave: You forgot how to trust and without trust there’s no love. You need to be reminded from time to time…World will never be a safe place, Cari…but you can build your trust day by day…start by trusting in your inner voice and in your inner light…

“-So, it was a dream…It was sweet, romantic, passionate…it was crazy sometimes and it was painful too…but in the end…it was amazing! Now we’re taking the road back to reality. Me…with school and my dreams, the ones that i can make true. You with your fiancee. And with a baby you don’t want right now…but in time you’ll love him more than you love yourself. Because i know you, Matteo…you have a heart of gold. And a baby is a sacred bond…Thank you for telling me the truth. It was the closure i needed…

-Carissa…

-No…don’t tell me to stop crying…i’m not crying anymore. I decided last night to froze all my tears. I finally see…You belong to another relationship, to your future family. I know…you told me you’ll break up with her to be with me. Oh, Matteo…I wasn’t your first option…i never was…Your fiancee is carrying your baby, you made your choice and i made mine. Now i’d appreciate it if you’d give me a moment alone…

He left…leaving her heart ravished. She wanted to cry but her tears were frozen. Like her moves, like the rhythm of her heart. Moving like a robot, acting out of routine. Feeling a void that will never be fulfilled. Someone knocked at her door. No, not him anymore. Can’t he see how devastating is the damage he caused…why is he back…just to admire the view?

-I suppose you didn’t heard me asking you for a moment alone, right? Oh, Alessio…i thought is…

-You thought is him…No, just me, your humble boy-toy…the one you played around your little finger. Till you got bored and you found another toy…a more expensive one…Tell me, baby…how does it feels when you’re selling your soul?

She ignored the cruelty of his words. Nothing seemed to touched her. Strong against the waves. Alone in front of the storm…but, in the end…aren’t we all left alone to face the thunders?

-Sit down, Alessio. There are a few things i need to get out of my chest. We need to talk and, this time you’ll actually listen. OK…what should i start with?

-You should start by telling me how you played me for a fool…

-Silence. The moment when you chose to lie, to cheat and to abuse me…that was the moment when you lost your right to tell me what to do.

-Ohhhh…you’re such a smooth talker, aren’t you, baby?

She looked at him with an undisguised repulse. Deciding that, from that moment on, she’ll show no mercy…

-Once you told me a story. About how, in a moment of madness, you decided to drug me and to take advantage of me. The facts were horrible but the story was nice. About a princess and an ugly guy who loved her so much that he decided to kidnap her and to love her forever in a very well protected tower.

He became pale.

-Why…why are you mentioning this…now?

-Because in every story there are at least two version. Here’s mine. My story is just as horrible as the facts are. Is about a girl who was abused. Physical and emotional abuse…maybe sexual too, but i guess i’ll never really find out what you did. She wasn’t a princess but she thought she loves a prince. Was she a fool? Of course she was. She must had been…cause she was so easily convinced that this is love. Yeah…tell me about it…i despise her too…Well, to make a long story short…

He covered his face with his hands. Gesturing no…She took his hands and made him look in her eyes.

-OK…i’ll continue. To make a long story short…She didn’t made it. She died. It was painful, it was ugly, it was messy…but in the end she died. No worries…your secrets are safe…she took them in the grave…where her heart rests. Now…look into my eyes and tell me why. Why did you murdered her? Was it funny? All those tears made you laugh?

-No…Cari, baby…how can you talk like this? So cruel…so emotionless…baby…this isn’t you…

Her voice was trembling but she wanted to sound calm. It took her all the strength in the world to keep talking.

-Alessio…go to Jennifer. Take her in your arms and promise her that you’ll never hurt her. Then…find the best therapist you can possibly get and learn how to control your anger. My question why…you don’t need to answer to me…just answer to yourself in front of the mirror. I’m death to you…and no…i wont tell you that you’re forgiven and forgotten. You’re not. But you are free to forgive yourself.

He left the room stumbling like he was hit or stabbed in his back. She realized she just lost her illusions. And the worst feeling…she lost herself.”

Me: You cannot imagine how hard it was to say all those words. Sometimes i wonder if it was really me talking…or some inner demon that got out of the shell…or my guardian angel, giving me a strength i never though i have…

Dave: It was you all the way…And let me tell you something. That girl wasn’t a fool…She was hurt, abandoned, abused…maybe she felt lonely and scared. But she was the bravest…and she found her dignity, her honor and her strength in a moment when any other 18 years old girl would collapse. I respect her, i really do…

Me: I can’t remember her…and sometimes i miss her and her sense of pride and justice and dignity…

Dave: She’s right here…i walked in the rain with her and i traveled trough storms with her. And i wanted to be her therapist but i ended being her friend…i ended loving her…

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