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Dave: No, I don’t believe in demonic possession, restless spirits, haunted places. But I do believe that some people are very sensitive and interpretative…and they tend to build themselves a different reality…

Me: My dream…the one that kept repeating on and on…

Dave: Your dream it’s the best example! Amy…your imaginary friend from your childhood, the one who “came back” to haunt your dreams during your relationship with Matteo…She was nothing but a projection…the hurt part of your self, the wounded part…the persecutor, the angry inner child…

Me: Why do you want me to analyze this dream? It’s all behind me…

Dave: No, it’s not…just because she took another form in your mind, it doesn’t mean that your nightmares disappeared…You’re waking up very tired, traces of tears on your face, bruises you can’t remember where you got them from…You’re not haunted, Cari…you’re just repressing your real emotions…your nightmares…Tell me about that dream…

She took a deep breath, a final step and she was there. The edge of the roof. Her wedding dress and her veil had the purest white color she ever saw, almost shining. The little girl was dancing around her.

-You promised me! You said you’ll fly with me! And now you’re afraid…I remember you used to be braver!

-Amy…I was a child…and I broke my arm because of you, when I tried to catch you on those cliffs…I missed you! But…you’re still a child…how come?

-You’re a child too! Now fly! Jump from the edge! I’ll hold your hand if you’re afraid…

Amy was pushing her and it was hard to control her balance.

-Amy, stop it! If we’ll jump, we’re both gonna die. I don’t wanna die! 

-Why?

-Because I wanna live! I have my school, my parents, my friends, Alessio…Stop pushing me, Amy…hey, you’re gonna ruin my wedding dress…

Amy was laughing, pushing her and tearing apart her veil. Someone came…she couldn’t see who it was…but the light around this presence was blinding. She only saw a Rosary…

-I command you…leave her alone! Go back to where you came from. She wont fall! 

The little girl’s voice lost all of her sweetness. Now it sounded cruel, evil…

-She will! She wants to! Yes, Cari…you’ll fly! Why wouldn’t you? No one wants you, no one loves you, this world will be better without you! They know it, you know it. You’re gonna die anyway, you all will! 

She looked behind with a sad smile. Talking to the white light next to her.

-Amy is right. I should do it…but, God, I don’t want to! Will You catch me, if I’ll fall?

-I will. All you need is to ask…and you’ll be given everything you need. Remember, you have to ask with all your heart and with all your faith…

She felt the falling like an emptiness in her heart. Too fast…she anticipated the pain of being smashed to the ground and she screamed. Then someone’s arms…so gentle and warm were holding her tight.

-Don’t be afraid, I’m here. It’s just a storm… 

 …

-Don’t be afraid, I’m here. It’s just a storm…

-Matteo…

-It’s alright…you felt asleep and then all hell broke loose…People were screaming, a child a few seats away started to cry. The stewardess tried to calm them down, but they panicked. I did my best to keep you asleep…but with all this noise…

It took her only a second to remind it…they were on their way to Barcelona. She was afraid of flying and he gave her a pill…so she felt asleep. People around her were agitated, she heard the baby crying a few seats away…

She suddenly realized that it isn’t over. Seeing the wing of their plain going up and down in the air, she understood…the noise was louder and the sky looked dark. Someone behind her said “we wont make it” and she felt like crying. Matteo wiped away her tears, holding her hand so strong…

-I love you, Carissa. It will be alright, we’re gonna land safely…but in case that something happen…I just want you to know that you’re the love of my life. And that I’m sorry for everything I did.

-No…don’t say this…just don’t! I don’t wanna die…we can’t crash! Don’t talk like you’re saying goodbye cause we’re not gonna crash! I know what to do!

She untied her seat belt and tried to reach out to grab her purse. He tried to stop her, the stewardess protested, someone asked her if she’s crazy, and she knew they can’t understand. She grabbed her Rosary while her purse fell from her hands. She tried to seat, but she fell and hurt her arm. But she ignored the pain. She kissed the Crucifix and held her Rosary next to her heart. Then looked up to the sky.

“Lord, I said it so may times that I wanna die…I was wrong! I want to live, please, let us all land safe. Be merciful even if we don’t deserve it. Father…i learned my lesson…i’m in the middle of the storm and You’re my shelter. Please, Shelter my body and save my soul. Send us all the Angels to save us from the darkness…”.

She heard the voice of the pilot and she whispered “thank you” looking above. The people were applauding when the announce broke their silence. The danger was behind them.

-Ohhhh, sweetie…you’re worse than a child…What in the world possessed you to do something like that? You could had broke your arm, the way you fell on it…Let me see…you’ll have a big bruise there. How do you feel, Carissa?

-I feel…happy! And alive! I feel like dancing and celebrating! And I wanna hear the words again and again…

-The words? I understand…well, if you want them…here they are…

He leaned on her and kiss her gently on her lips. She smiled at him and pulled him closer, saying “I want more”. They kiss passionately and he took her in his arms, like he had something very precious to protect…He whispered “I love you…you’re the love of my life” and she looked deep into his eyes.

-I needed this…

-The kiss?

-The storm…

-You’re crazy…sweet and crazy…it could have killed us…your storm. Carissa…you’re my storm…and I can’t live without you, I mean it…Will you…

-Shhhhhtttt…Don’t say the words! Not now…I will…but…not now…Sometimes a storm it’s all we need to make some room for love. I wanna do it, Matteo…I need to clean my heart from all the pain and anger and fear. I wanna do it…with you…”.

Dave: Who is your storm, Cari? 

Me: I don’t know…there’s always sunny…I’m always smiling…I think that the storm is gone…forever…I’m calm…

Dave: You’re calm…it’s the calm before the storm…I wonder, who you’ll be making room for? And I can’t help myself…I’m hoping…

Me: What are you hoping for?

Dave: You know what? It doesn’t matter. Let’s get you out of the storm first…

 

 

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