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Dave: Take my hand…close your eyes and feel it…you’re home. A safe, warm home where the child in you is happy again…

Me: If I’ll open my eyes…I just wish to keep this feeling in my soul…even when my eyes are wide open.

Dave: It’s alright. Open your eyes and open your arms. Let me give you a hug…you’re home. If your heart feels safe…you are home!

“He stopped the car.

-We need a break, Cari. Let’s visit this small village, I heard it has an interesting history. Come here, give me your hand.

She was quiet. The music from the radio, the cold December air…the feeling of letting go a part of her life. Everything…and all inside her mind, because she couldn’t express in words.

-Carissa…are you feeling alright? Or, is there anything you wanna talk about?

-No…Angelo, you were so nice to me, of course I’m alright. A bit of nostalgia…but I’ll be ok.

He took her in his arms.

-Poor child, you went trough so much…and you’re probably overwhelmed. Hey…what’s that?

-What? Where? Ohhhh…a little bird…she’s hurt. And she’ll froze to death! Angelo, I can’t let…

She wanted to plead with him to save the little bird but she thought she’s being ridiculous. She didn’t even knew that she’s crying. She didn’t even felt that she’s having problems breathing. But he saw…with calm gestures, he took his scarf and tugged the little bird. Then he examined the wound.

-It’s a broken wing…I think she can be saved, but we need to take her to a vet. I’ll put her in the car, she needs warmth.

He returned. Cupping her face, he wiped away her tears.

-It’s more than a little bird to you. Right, Carissa? You can tell me anything, I mean it. You’re not lost, I’m holding you tight. I’m here. Cari, come back to me.

-Do you wanna know…I will tell you everything. I was 5, when my…I mean Franco…punished me for eating sweets…I was so upset with him…I told him that when I’ll grow up, I’m gonna run away from home and never see him or my mom again…

He smiled, taking her hands into his, to keep her warm.

-You were 5…anything you’re saying has a certain magic when you’re 5…even the angry words. How did he reacted?

-He said nothing, but I knew he’s angry at me. He took me for a walk…it was autumn and the leaves were falling…there, in the fallen leaves…I saw a little bird, just like this one. She probably fell from her nest. I ran to see her closer.

-What happen?

-I…I can’t…I’m sorry…I can’t say…

-Cari, you’re safe. Let it all out. Slowly…there’s no need to be afraid…Tell me what happen when you got closer.

-I touched her and her tiny body was warm…her heart was beating so strong and fast. I said: “Dad, she felt from her nest…I can’t put her back…help me please.” He said nothing. He was thinking. And then he decided to give me a lesson. He said…

-Cari, breath…he did something terrible…you need to tell me everything…

-No, Angelo…I can’t…don’t make me do that…

He hugged her and he could feel her trembling and the beatings of her heart.

-Look how scared you are, just like the little bird…But she’s safe and you are safe. No one is going to hurt you…Now tell me everything.

-Alright…He said: “She didn’t fell, she ran away. And now she’s gonna die, because she was a bad bird who ran away from her home”. I begged him to put the bird back to her nest. I kept pleading with him, telling him that she’ll catch a cold or that the cat will eat her. He came closer and I thought he’s saving the little bird. I was smiling, saying thank you, daddy. And then, suddenly…

-Carissa…

-He suddenly smashed the head of the little bird with a stone. And he said: “This is what happens to little birds who run away from home. Are you still planning to run away, Carissa?”

-My God…

-I saw the blood and I saw the last spasms of that tiny body…and I started to vomit…he took me back home and made me promise that I wont tell…

Angelo turned his back and cursed.

-I feel the need to punch someone…Jesus Christ! How in the earth…

-Angelo, please…

She started to cry and he took her in his arms.

-It’s going to be alright, sweet little girl. I’m here…

-Don’t leave me…

-Why and how could I leave you, Cari? Because you were raised by a monster? You know…you’re not like that. You’re pure light…the darkness around you never took away your brightness…

-Thank you…Angelo, when I saw you saving that little bird…I know she may die, but you tried anyway…when you touched her so gently and you tugged her and kept her warm…you did the same with my heart. My heart is yours forever…

He smiled.

-That’s the sweetest thing I ever heard. But you know, Cari, you don’t have to pay a price here…you just smile and open your heart to me…Now, let’s fix that broken wing…

-The bird…

-Not only the bird. You have your own wings broken, little angel. We’ll fix them. And you’ll see…flying wont be painful anymore…”.

Dave: Flying should never hurt…love shouldn’t hurt…

Me: But it does, Dave. Oh, how it does hurt…

 

 

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