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Dave: So, the princess in your story never found her prince on a white horse. She learned to live like an ordinary girl. He never truly learned to respond in a proper way to what she was offering. The saddest ending possible.

Me: She wanted to become an ordinary girl…because being a princess meant being alone. She also learned that when you give everything to someone unprepared to accept that he’s your everything…he will walk away…She still feels that he’s “her everything” but now she never says these words. Not anymore…

“The smell of the white roses was sweet. Not strong, but intoxicating somehow. Nineteen white roses. And a ring.

-I thought…I’m not good with words, not like you, Cari. I could never write an essay like you do…or say “I love you” in so many beautiful ways. But it’s your birthday today. People are nicer and more willing to forgive when is their birthday. So I thought…maybe you’ll forgive me for not being there for you…maybe you’ll understand that I was selfish and foolish. Who knows…maybe you’ll take the ring…

-I do, Alessio. I do, with all my heart. Being without you is torment, pure pain. And I can’t…I can’t do that anymore. God help me, I wanna run away with you!

She was trembling and he took her in his arms. Their eyes met for a second and she wanted to ask something…but he kissed her hungrily, passionately ans she forgot everything. He suddenly let her lose and she almost fell of her feet.

-Sweet princess…we don’t have time now. You need to pack your things…here, take this suitcase…everything is ready for us, I arranged everything. We’re awaited at a small church, a few hours away from here…

-But…what should I wear…

-Some jeans, anything…you can’t travel in your school uniform. Let me help you…here, take off the crucifix from your neck…

She saw her clothes in the suitcase and it was like she was living someone else’s life. Her excitement turned into fear.

-Alessio…I have an exam today…is for Medical School…it’s important. That’s why I woke up so early…can’t I just take the test and then…Ohhh, and the kids from the orphanage! I almost forgot…we’re singing in the church today…And Angelo…we’re supposed to meet in an hour, before the test, he seemed very serious about something…

He stopped packing.

-Carissa…

-You’re upset…

-No, I’m not. You need to decide now. It wont be another chance. I love you and I want you in my life forever. But I need a strong woman by my side, not some scared little girl wining about school and kids stuff. Stop being so silly, my love…in a few hours you’ll be my wife…isn’t it what you want?

-It is…

-Then, let’s go…Cari…this is your destiny…and mine…Don’t be afraid to face it…

He took her hand and leaded her out of the door. She saw the crucifix on the floor and the bed where she slept for so many years. The small room…and the teddy bear…She stopped for a moment but he grabbed her by her shoulders, pushing her gently. She realized it too late and the emotion was suffocating her. She struggled to breath normally, stopping her panic attack. He didn’t noticed her struggle…

-I forgot…Alessio, I forgot something! I need to go back! My teddy bear…I can’t sleep without my teddy bear…I have it since I was a little child…And my crucifix…

-Baby…I’ll buy you another crucifix and another teddy bear. Do you realize we’re running late?

He pushed the acceleration pedal and the increasing speed made her feel desperate.

-Alessio, this is not right! I can’t run like this! Please, I wanna go back to take my teddy bear and my crucifix and to call Angelo. He will understand…Where’s my cell?

He blocked the car and she felt a cold shiver thinking that she’s on her own.

-We didn’t took your cell phone, baby. You know it can be used as a tracking device. And you wont call Angelo, not until we’re married. Going back is not an option so…I blocked the car for your own protection, in case you have some suicidal thoughts again…

She started to cry. Big salty tears rolling down her cheeks. He looked at her and stopped the car.

-It’s devastating to me seeing you cry, baby. Do you love me?

She nodded.

-I love you too, Cari. You know how much I love you? You know that I left everything…a good life in the US, a business, a woman who loved me deeply…I left it all just to be with you. I planned this as a birthday gift for you…imagining how, in time, we will remember this day with so much love…Baby…a teddy bear is more important than me? Or a crucifix? Or Angelo? Or the kids from the orphanage? Or some stupid test…

-It was for Medical School…I learned so much…

His voice became cold. He took her face in his hands.

-I’m sorry for you. For destroying your perfect life. Your perfect future! A princess sleeping with her teddy bear…you know how used I feel now? You love me when you’re down…and as soon as you’re fine…to hell with me! With us…

She lifted her face and, seeing how upset he is, like a kid losing his favorite toy. She tried to touch his face, but he pushed down her hands.

-I’m sorry, amore mio…You’re right, I did reacted like a spoiled child. Can we…can you give me another chance? Please, pretty please…

He kissed her and she was surprised by the roughness of his touches, but she blamed herself. She felt she failed him and the thought was saddening her.

-Cari…swear it! Swear that you wont try to go back or call anyone! Baby…I’m sorry about before, it wont happen again…I was desperate…

-I swear! I swear anything you want me to swear. I love you, Alessio…

-More than your teddy bear?

-I don’t need it anymore…now I have you, nothing else matters…And you’re my everything…”

Dave: I’m surprised how you didn’t listened to that scared little girl in you…begging you to stop doing this craziness…

Me: Because the savior in me reacted to his emotional problems…

Dave(smiling): You’re learning fast…So, the scared little girl in you feels safe now?

Me: She ran away long time ago. I wonder sometimes if I’ll ever allow myself to be that vulnerable… 

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