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Dave: What do you see when you’re looking at the shooting stars? 

Me: I see…I feel hope…they come from the sky to show me the way…am I silly to believe that?

Dave: No…not silly, just in a desperate search…

Me: For a shooting star?

Dave: For a guardian angel…

“He gave her a tissue. The black mascara was running down her cheeks but she didn’t cared anymore. Sitting in Angelo’s living room, surrounded by her suitcases, sipping from the glass of water, trying to speak while her crying made it almost impossible…

-That bad, huh? Tell me everything, from the beginning.

-Last week, right after the prom…dad, I mean Franco…came to me with this idea. Not an idea…more like an ultimatum. He has this business partner…at first I thought he’s joking, but then he said he’ll stop paying for the rent and I’ll be sleeping on the streets…if I don’t accept…

-If you don’t accept…what?

She couldn’t even say the words. Feeling so low, so angry and devastated.

-He said that it would be the best thing for both of us. For his business…and for me. To marry that boy, the son of his business partner. That I’ll have everything I could ever dream, that all my craziness with Alessio will be forgotten…that I would go to Medical School if I want that…everything…just to accept. And if I don’t…then I’m on my own. Oh, Angelo…I’m not afraid of working, I wanna get a job and be on my own…but what will I do till that point? Where will I sleep? So I came to you…here…

He took her in his arms, wiping away her tears. She felt so safe…like never before. Closing her eyes, wanting to keep that warmth forever with her…

-So I get that you said no…Carissa, I wonder…is this the best decision for you?

She stopped breathing for a moment.

-Wh…what do you mean? He asked me to marry a boy I don’t love. And who’s not in love with me. He wanted me to sign the marriage certificate like if it were a business contract. How could I? Marriage is sacred…family is sacred…how can you even ask me…

He looked away, avoiding her eyes. Saying the words she never thought she’ll ever hear from him.

-Cari…marriage isn’t sacred, only love is. A marriage can last one or two years…and it’s over. You’ll move on. You’ll already be in College, maybe having your own money, not depending on no one…Think about it…you could negotiate…now you’re 19, you could be free at 21…with your whole life ahead of you and enough money to fulfill any dream you might have…I think you could see this as a great opportunity…

-A great opportunity to sell my soul! Angelo…what’s wrong with you? I thought you’d be angry at my father, but you say is an opportunity!

-I just thought it would be better than to have no place to sleep, nothing to eat, to give up your dreams and have a lousy job…

She felt a cold shiver. No place to sleep…her old anguishes and her biggest fears…abandoned…alone…She gently pulled herself from his arms.

-Angelo, I’m asking for your help. I never asked you for anything and you have always been more than generous. This time…I’m asking for a place to sleep in your home. Not forever…just a few weeks till I’ll find a job. I don’t need money, just a place to sleep…is dark outside…and…

She realized is in vain. She turned away, trying to wake up from what it seemed to be a nightmare. His voice was cold.

-You can sleep here tonight, I don’t want you to wander on the streets all by yourself. But tomorrow you gotta talk to Franco…is really the best thing for you.

She felt very tired. Too tired to fight.

-Just tell me why…why have you changed so much…why are you so cold and cruel to me…what have I done so wrong…

-Nothing! You did nothing wrong! Carissa…I’m not…I’m not who you think I am…our meeting wasn’t a coincidence…I wanna tell you everything so you’d understand…that is not your fault…

-No! Don’t tell me anything at all! I know how everything I touch dies…how good people become bad because of me. I know I lost you because I loose everything I love.

She wanted to leave but he grabbed her shoulders stopping her from moving. For a moment she felt the panic but she was too hurt and desperate…she couldn’t even cry or feel the pain anymore.

-Listen! Long ago I was like you…at crossroads. I took a wrong turn…and I ended up in jail. For drugs, violence, robbery…I thought my life is over but someone gave me a chance. He used his connection and helped me to get out of jail. To start a new life. I became his assistant, bodyguard, the man from the shadow…protecting what he gave me to protect. And one day he told me to protect his daughter. To stop her from killing herself, to make sure she has everything she needs…to make sure she’s on the right track…no one knew, just me and…

-…and my father. And now I know it too…

-Do you understand now? He loves you, Carissa…

She almost laughed. He let her go and she took her suitcases and headed to the front door.

-Don’t go…

-You did a great job, Angelo…congratulations. See…what you just did is amazing…I was afraid of the darkness outside when, all of this time, I embraced and welcomed darkness in my life. I was so afraid of being alone when all this time I leaned on a shadow. Thank you, Angelo…for opening my eyes. Please tell your boss that I’m not for sell…and that being homeless is better than being a merchandise. Goodbye.”

Dave: Can you truly forgive someone who hurts you so much?

Me: Yes. You learn not only to forgive, but also to let go…to cherish the sweet memories and to let go the pain inside. But you’re not talking about Angelo, right?

Dave: You know very well who I’m talking about… 

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