Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Dave: There’s a special light in your eyes tonight…a mysterious sadness in your smile…are you alright?

Me: I’m alright, I just had that dream again and felt their embrace. All of the dear people I lost, gone too soon…

Dave: Imagine them in Heaven, smiling at you, watching over you. Maybe faith will help this time…

Me: Faith always helps. Sometimes is the only lighthouse I can find…

“Matteo gave her the white fluffy towel and helped her dry her hair.

-You smell like rain and wild flowers…Baby, don’t you think it was silly of you to stand in the rain? You could catch a cold…

-I wont.

She was smiling sweetly with drops of rain in her eyelashes. Running down her face like tears. He cupped her face and kissed her.

-Rain taste sweet on your lips. So, silly girl…what’s with you and the rain? I remember how you dragged me to dance with you in the rain. That kiss after…was the best kiss in my life…

She giggled, cuddling in his arms.

-When I was a child…I was 5 or 6 and my mother found me out in the rain, reaching my arms to the skies. She asked me why am I doing this…

-I can imagine the desperation on Leanne’s face…you probably ruined another expensive dress brought from Paris, from the latest collection…

-You imagined right! She was furious! But you know what have I told her?

-Tell me, sweetie.

He took her in his arms, warming her arms and planting small kisses on her shoulders.

-I told her that the sky was crying and I was hugging the sky! Because no one should cry alone! And right as I spoke, the rain stopped and we saw the rainbow. And I said: see? The sky stopped crying and now it’s smiling at me. I was grounded for a week…

-She should be grounded…for every teardrop she made you cry.

-I forgave her…How could I not forgive her? She’s my mother, the only mother I’ll ever have…and I lost so many people. If I’ll lose her too…at least I don’t wanna remember the anger and hate between us…

She became sad and he tried to change the subject. He handed her a white envelope.

-Our honeymoon…a month from now and we’ll be traveling to the most beautiful Greek island…The resort is heavenly…there’s a small white church right next to our resort…You’ll have the mountains embracing the sea, you’ll have music all night long and white sands…

-Matteo…oh, Matteo…

-You like it? I went to the best agencies and nothing seemed good enough for my princess…

She put her head on his chest, he kissed her hair and told her how much he loves her.

-You’re good to me…Matteo…let’s go there…let’s skip the wedding. We don’t need to get married to have all this. It’s you and me…we don’t need the wedding…

-You’re starting again…Have you been to the doctor? Did he gave you a treatment?

She looked down, feeling humiliated and ashamed. No reason to feel this way…she tried to reassure herself.

-Yes. I went to the psychiatrist. He said I don’t have depression so he wouldn’t give me anti-depressives…And that medicine didn’t found a cure for broken hearts…

-Then he’s a terrible bad psychiatrist! Stupid and ignorant! Everyone can see that you’re suffering from depression! Your ideas about our wedding, your premonitions that you’re gonna die before the wedding, your nightmares, your fear of intimacy! You know what? We’ll find another doctor who’ll give you the pills…

-The magic pills…right, Matteo?

The irony in her voice was obvious. He tried to remain calm, but there was a sharp light in his eyes, cutting trough her soul.

-Anything it takes, Carissa. Anything at all…to make you normal again. No more premonitions, no more angels, spirits, no more! I want a normal wife! Someone I wouldn’t be embarrassed to introduce to my business partners.

Her bottom lip was trembling, like a child ready to cry. He saw it and melted his tone.

-I’m sorry, baby…I got carried away…I’m sorry for what I said. Let’s not fight over this, ok? You’ll see that, once we’ll have a child, you’ll forget all these stupidities…You will, alright?

-Yes, I will.

-And we’ll find another doctor who’ll take your case in serious.

-My case?

-Well, sweetie…is not quite normal and usual to dance in the rain, pretending to hear a band of angels singing.

She couldn’t look in his eyes so she just looked away.

-I wasn’t hallucinating, Matteo. I was…I am…in love. People when they’re in love do crazy things and I…I’m no different…

His face brightened so suddenly…

-Awwww honey…that’s the sweetest thing…Now I feel bad for what I said to you…I over reacted but that’s only because I want you so much…Sweetie, I love you too…that’s why I want you to be my wife, to be mine…

-Matteo…I dn’t feel ready, that’s all. I still feel like a child…don’t know if I could have my own children.

He started to laugh, gently touching her face.

-You’re just like a child, that’s true. I keep forgetting how young you are…21…yeah, I remember feeling like a child myself at 21. But you have me, sweet girl! You don’t need to bother with complicate decisions, I’ll decide for you. I wanna be more than your husband…

-More? How could you be more? What…could you be more?

-Your guide, your leader, your master…

-But I…I don’t need a master! For God’s sake! Matteo…all I need is someone who’d love me and make me feel protected. My husband should be my lover, my best friend, my hero…That’s what I need!

He smiled a very cold and strange smile.

-You don’t know what you need…”

Dave: People always offered you things they thought you need…

Me: They did…starting with my parents…no one bothered to ask me. 

Dave: What do you need, Carissa? What do you need now?

Me: To dance in the rain, hearing the band of angels singing for me…

Dave: Let’s go…it’s raining…it’s always raining when we meet…but it’s the first time when I hear the music too…

 

Advertisements