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Dave: I did it! And you know why? Because I care…and because it’s unfair to you and unfair to him…

Me: You shouldn’t have done it…you only made things worse.

Dave: Things cannot be worse! Cari…the worst already happen. You, leaving…to me, that’s a disaster. 

Me: He told me and he meant it…he doesn’t need a liar and a cheater in his life. Nor in his family. Tell me…is there another option?

Dave: Show me one person, one single person who never told a lie. One who never disappointed nobody…one who never broke a heart, willingly or unwillingly…Show me that person and I’ll back off…You can’t, right? Ryan can’t either…He demands perfection…but tell me, is he capable to give perfection? Or…at least…love?

back to my haunted home…

I closed the door behind him and the darkness of my old house seem less frightening. I am in love…My first day in the jungle, how my dad likes to call this amazing place…I close my eyes, trying to feel again. His eyes looking deep in my soul, his fingers accidentally touching my hair…his smile…I feel like dancing by myself and I know it’s silly…

It is silly…this is all in my mind. He said it clearly…he’s too hurt to fall in love again. And I’m too young…that’s what he said. But he also told me I’m sweet…and when I kissed him on the cheek he pulled me closer…

That’s only because he’s sorry for me! And he’s too much of a gentleman to say it to my face…He noticed that I got so sad when I saw the message from Leanne…he didn’t asked but he saw…stupid message…I’m reading it again and I feel like crying again…

“I’m spending the night with some old friends. I don’t like the house, too many sad memories. Take care.” Leanne

That simple…and I’m all alone in a haunted house. Ryan was right…some things cannot be fixed…maybe the relationship with my mom goes to the same category…Someone’s at the door…maybe she changed her mind. I need a friend right now…Please, God…make her change her mind!

-Ryan…you’re here…

-And you’re trembling. OK, I wanna see the message you got. The one that made you sad…

-Oh…it was…nothing at all…I was just tired…how could I be sad after this amazing evening…

He’s getting closer and when he’s looking in my eyes like that…I can’t lie…

-Carissa…when you got the message, the light in your eyes faded away. I saw you struggling not to cry. It was wrong of me not to ask, I thought is none of my business. That was a misjudgment. Everything about you is my business.

-It is? It really is?

Never felt so happy to have someone meddling in my life…oh, how I wish this to be forever…

-Yes. Now give me your cellphone.

And, I don’t know why, but I feel helpless…I don’t want him to talk to me like this, it reminds me…No, he’s different…he cares…And I’m giving him the cell with trembling hands and tears in my eyes. I’m tired, I’m lonely and I need a friend…

-See? It’s nothing…

-You’re crying…Leanne is your mother, right? (I’m nodding) I wanna talk to her tomorrow (panic now). For now…pack some things for tonight, you’re going home with me.

-Home? I can’t…I don’t…

I’m struggling, feel like drowning…He’s taking me in his arms caressing my hair and I wanna tell him that I am home…in his arms, that’s where I belong…

-Yes you can, I’m not leaving you here all alone. One thing though…never do that again. Never pretend you’re alright when you’re broke inside…I don’t like liars, I don’t want a liar in my life. So, if you wanna be a part of my life…that’s one of the ground rules.

A part of his life…I’m a liar…he said I’m a liar…he wants me in his life…ground rules…rules…his tone…he took my cell and checked my messages like he would have the right…and I couldn’t say no…I should lock the door right now…I should stay away…I’m not in love…how could I be in love with this guy? He’s the most authoritarian and controlling and…

-I scare you, right? Carissa…

-No…I’m just…

-Well, you look scared. But if you don’t wanna be honest with me…

He has a disappointed look in his eyes and I can’t stand the thought of letting him down. So I decide to be brave. And honest…

-Wait, don’t go, please…It’s true, you scare me a little. When you talk like that…about rules…is like giving me orders and…I’m not used and I don’t want to…

He smiles at me and I’m smiling back now. I know I’m all blushed and my hair is a mess…And my speech about pride and dignity has no sense at all…He’s touching my face and the tenderness in his touch makes me melt.

-Well, you scare me too…yes, you…sweet girl who fell from heaven straight into my life…Don’t laugh, you’re scary! You’re so sweet and beautiful…and when you talk to me…is like touching a deep place in my heart…a place that stayed lonely and dark for too long. I am controlling…because life has showed me that…the moment when you lose control, you fall…and falling down can be painful as hell…

-I’m falling too…but you’re here…I don’t wanna be afraid…

-Then don’t be. Trust me. Just trust me. I’m not leaving you alone tonight. There’s nothing to talk about. Let’s not turn this into a big heavy talk about control. Is a simple question. Are we sleeping here or home?

Home…he made it sound just like it were our home…I can’t stop smiling and I feel like dancing again…We…sleeping…home…am I dreaming?

-I wanna go home with you, Ryan…

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